Progress not Perfection

Progress not Perfection with Business Growth Coach – Jo Flood

We Coach People | Jo Flood | Irish Wedding Chat
Jo Flood

We had a fabulous Twitter Hour and follow up chat with Jo this week of We Coach People. Jo was one of the very first people to welcome me to New Ross. I remember thinking wow what a wonderful woman – genuinely friendly and warm. So, it was an absolute pleasure to have her as our guest this week.

Jo’s is an amazing businesswoman. Who after a very successful career in London came home to Ireland. Brought a small Country Home in New Ross and set about creating a thriving boutique hotel. Which she sold 17 years to concentrate on looking after her twins.

Which she found extremely difficult and stressful. Especially since one of the children has autism. Her journey to becoming one of the best businesses coaches began. When she discovered that only she had the ability to change herself. You can read more about her story here.

As you can probably tell I’m a great admirer of Jo’s – she’s down to earth and really does understand the difficulties life can throw at you. Which in my view makes her a really compassionate business coach. And, as she says “it’s about progress not perfection”

Let’s dive into the Twitter Q & A.

Q1: Has a lack of structure impacted your productivity?
Q1: Has a lack of structure impacted your productivity? We Coach People | Irish Wedding Chat

A1: Develop daily success habits! Make a list of 5 unproductive habits and eliminate them one step at a time!

Q2: Do you find it hard to say no when you’re already overcommitted?
q2: do you fin it hard to say No when you're already overcommitted?

A 2. This week catch yourself before you agree and make a commitment to say Yes to NO!…
I’m gambling here!!!! Bet everyone said YES to NO today

q3: Do you schedule time every week to clear clutter?

A3: This week schedule an hour to clear the decks. Let me know how it feels afterwards..

q4: Do you struggle with self-limiting beliefs?

A4: Write them down and opposite each one write an empowering belief and read the list every day. Watch the magic happen!!

We had a fabulous hour with Jo. So much so that I’ve embedded some of the Twitter thread at the end of today’s blog. Just so you can catch up. But, now let’s move onto our live.

DeirdreSarah and I had a great laugh with Jo. We really do love having our Guests join us always do so much learning.

Connect with Jo

Planning a wedding or event?

Then please do join us me and our wonderful community of wedding and event service providers, suppliers and venues Wednesday’s at 8pm on Twitter when we show off our gifts, gowns, services, cars, cakes, flowers and so much more. It’s a virtual wedding fair. Hosted by wonderful Deirdre of 2D Graphic Design. And, check out our Instagram – the lovely Sarah of SVS Concierge looks after you.

Reach out to us if you have any questions – we are happy to help.

How Great Marketing Works

How Great Marketing Works with Finola Howard

Welcome to this week’s blog with our Guest Finola Howard of
How Great Marketing Works!

Finola is a Brand Builder, Marketing Strategist and Thinking Partner to Businesses that want to Scale. She works hands-on with business owners who want to establish an effective marketing process and often puts the structures in place to make that possible.

She built How Great Marketing Works because she wanted any business no matter its size or stage in the entrepreneurial journey. To access the knowledge that she has spent the last 25 + years accumulating and perfecting

I have been a huge fan of Finola’s since we first connected on Twitter – a long time ago! I’ve watched her grow and become the Queen of Marketing. And, she is with no doubts a Marketing genius. I knew that our community of Wedding Services, Suppliers and Venues would get lots of hints, tips and tricks to help them market themselves better.

Imagine my delighted when she accepted my invitation to join the #irishweddingchat Twitter Hour.
I was like…

Finola shared some marketing nuggets with us during our Twitter Chat. Hosted by Deirdre ní Dhubhghaill of 2D Graphic Design

Q1: What are the industry trends during this crisis that I could apply to my wedding business right now?

Q1: What are the industry trends during this crisis that I could apply to my wedding business right now?
How Great Marketing Works | Irish Wedding Chat

We see the rise of the #Minimony instead of a full ceremony – you’ll have the people closest to you on the day followed by a big bash afterwards. If you are a #WeddingSupplier how can you leverage this in your business?

Couples now want their #weddings to be a reflection of who they are & they want to amplify that experience for their guests. If you are a #WeddingSupplier can you help them? This is a #WeddingTrend that’s going to stay.

Health & Safety at #Weddings is big now! Plated dinners only, buffet’s are gone. Goodie bags with hand sanitizer, personalised face masks & more. As a #WeddingSupplier how will you creatively demonstrate your commitment to safety?

Q2: If no one is booking weddings right now, should I still be marketing myself? And if so, how?

Q2: If no one is booking weddings right now, should I still be marketing myself? And if so, how?
How Great Marketing Works | Irish Wedding Chat | Twitter Q & A

Couples haven’t stopped #weddingplanning, they’re using the time to research & know their vendors so they can feel comfortable with them. This is your new wedding marketing – answer their questions before they’re asked.

Show your #weddingcouples that you understand what they are going through. Make them laugh, be a shoulder in blogs & social media. Show them a way through this pandemic. Remind them their love will survive this!

Your #weddingcouples will remember the people who cared. Are you building in answers to their new problems e.g. elder relatives, limited numbers, fun at a distance etc

Q3: What’s the most important thing I should look at in terms of my marketing right now?

Q3: What's the most important thing I should look at in terms of my marketing right now? 
How Great Marketing Works | Irish Wedding Chat | Twitter Q & A

Start by understanding that your customer has changed fundamentally so what they need now is different – different pain points and maybe a different solution from you.

Redo your #CustomerProfile to gain insight & clarity. Pretend you are starting again for the first time. They’ve changed you might need to, as well.

With existing clients who are postponing, how can you give them a caring solution that fits who they are? You never know you may be able to build a larger solution for them if you truly listen. When it works apply it elsewhere too.

Q4: How do I pivot my business so that I can keep earning revenue right now?

Q4: How do I pivot my business so that I can keep earning revenue right now? How Great Marketing Works | Irish Wedding Chat | Twitter Q & A

Find new ways of solving old problems e.g. virtual consultations, at home cake tastings, zoom photo shoots, virtual fashion shoots, masked wedding shoots. When it’s virtual send them champagne to make it personal!

Can you convert anything you’re doing into an online course. You’d be surprised how niche you can get. Wedding Speech Writing, Wedding Tables, Best Bride Ever Course, Happy Nails, Happy Heart etc What wedding insights can you teach?

What have you got that you can apply outside your own industry with relative ease? Can you tap into the people working from home now? What about home decor/gardening which has seen huge increases?

Q5: How will I stand out above all the noise in the industry right now?

What have you got that you can apply outside your own industry with relative ease? Can you tap into the people working from home now? What about home decor / gardening which has seen huge increases? How Great Marketing Works | Irish Wedding Chat | Twitter Q & A

You’ve got to find that unique thing you do that nobody else does. Amp it up. Take it to the edge. Let there be no doubt why YOU are the right person for your customer! Be Brave! Own your space!

Take your lead from your customers. What one or two are saying about you and to you are clues to what they love about you. Leverage that!

The loudest thing you can do right now is showing them you are safe. That’s your most important message. Show them the evidence of this across your social media. People are switching suppliers if they don’t feel safe.

Wasn’t that just full of great marketing tips? And, what a prize!!! For the best conversation during #irishweddingchat using the hashtag #getstrategic.

The Winner got:

Get Strategic Get Results! Marketing Course!

  • A Complementary Strategy Session with Me to get you on the right track
  • And! Lifetime Membership of the HowGMW Community. An active learning community

DeirdreSarah and I really enjoyed having Finola on as our Guest. We hope you did too.

Reach out to us if you have any questions – we are happy to help.

Sell with Confidence with Anna Scheller

Anna Scheller - Sales and Success Coach

Anna Scheller shares her Top Tips to sell with Confidence

We had a fantastic Twitter Q & A with Anna last Wednesday when Anna shared with us her Top Sales Tips. To help us Sell with more confidence Anna knowledge and understanding of sales will probably surpass what you think you know. She’s a Corporate Sales Trainer and Coach. And, helps entrepreneurs understand selling better, allowing business owners to close their Sales with confidence.

Q1: Sales can be scary. What is foundational to good sales?

Q1: Sales can be scary. What is foundational to good sales. | Anna Scheller - Irish Wedding Chat

Everything starts with our thinking. Many of us associate sales with a negative mindset–lying, fast talking, used car salesman. 

We have to reconfigure our thought process to see sales as helping our clients find solutions they couldn’t find on their own. We are there to help solve their problems, especially about the biggest moment of their lives–their wedding! #IrishWeddingChat #salestips

Q2: There are so many choices when it comes to weddings. What can I do to stand out?

There are so many choices when it comes to weddings. What can I do to stand out? Anna Scheller - Irish Wedding Chat

First determine your ideal client. Is there a specific niche that you specialize in? That is your first step. The riches are in the niches!

Then reach out to folks who fit your avatar, and ask them about their biggest challenges? What is their biggest frustration with vendors in your industry? Take those answers, and build your business around that!

Q3: I am afraid of sounding salesy. How do we approach people without being salesy?

I am afraid of sounding salesy. How do we approach people without being salesy? Anna Scheller - Irish Wedding Chat

Great question! A lot of people are uncomfortable with sales, so you are in good company! Most people feel they have to do all the talking. Not So! Ask questions to get the customer talking! 

Use good listening skills to make sure you are understanding what they are telling you. Good sales come from good listening. Have a process you follow. Most people jump to asking for the order because they don’t lead people gradually to a decision. Like asking someone to marry you on the first date! That feels forced and icky! The people I’ve helped create a sales process close more sales confidently!

Q4: Asking people to pay is uncomfortable. How do we approach the cost issue?

Asking people to pay is uncomfortable. How do we approach the cost issue? Anna Scheller - Irish Wedding Chat

I can’t emphasize the importance of having a process to learn more about the client before asking for payment. Build rapport, ask questions to discover what their ideal wedding would look like. Help them explore ways to get what they want.

After helping them see how you can help them build that fairytale nuptial, then say something like, “And now, I’d like to let you know what that will look like.” Giving them that wedding they’ve always dreamed of is what you are there for

Q5: When talking to a couple about their wedding, what tips can I do to demonstrate my confidence?

When talking to a couple about their wedding, what tips can I do to demonstrate my confidence? Anna Scheller - Irish Wedding Chat

Realize you have the answers the engaged couple needs. You are the expert whether you’re the planner, the florist or the photographer. Remind yourself of a success you’ve had, and that will carry into your conversation.

Practice your script with a friend. Get feedback, and practice again. Feedback gives us the information we need to improve. Get a good coach to help you improve. If top athletes need a coach, you need one, too.

Thank you Anna Scheller - Sales and Success Coach. | Irish Wedding Chat - Twitter Q & A
To those who would like to experience a breakthrough in their sales, Anna offer’s a free 30 min consult to discover their biggest challenge, how to overcome it, and the fastest path to cash. Go to annascheller.com/book

That was an amazing Q & A with Anna. It was our best one yet! Now onto our follow up interview.

Deirdre, Sarah and I really enjoyed and appreciated Anna sharing so much of her knowledge with us. We really do love having our Guests join us on Irish Wedding Chat. We always do so much learning.

Connect with Anna on her social media channels.

Our Next Guest is Finola Howard of How Great Marketing Works. We’ll be learning about Marketing ourselves.

Planning a wedding or event?

Then please do join us me and our wonderful community of wedding and event service providers, suppliers and venues Wednesday’s at 8pm on Twitter when we show off our gifts, gowns, services, cars, cakes, flowers and so much more. It’s a virtual wedding fair. Hosted by wonderful Deirdre of 2D Graphic Design. And, check out our Instagram – the lovely Sarah of SVS Concierge looks after you.

Reach out to us if you have any questions – we are happy to help.

Next week: our Featured Business is the wonderful Catriona McCormack joining us from Yoga Ireland.

Extinguish Limited Beliefs

Be your best self - sara anderson - life coach

Our Guest this week was the amazing Sara Anderson who talked about how to extinguish limited beliefs. I love Sara’s approach to coaching. She is very real and shares her self-doubts. I think you will find Sara’s Q & A with us really helpful and insightful.

Shall we dive straight in with our Q & A?

You are a life Coach, there are a lot of life coaches out there. What is particularly unique about what you do?

Q1 You are a life coach, what is particularly unique about what you do? 
#irishweddingchat

I work using all the different modalities that I have trained in. My work has at its core empathy and
compassion. I provide a space for the client to share all that is going on for them.

Then I use my skills and intuition to uncover what limited belief is getting in the way. it is amazing how different life can look and feel once you release a core limiting belief. It is like magic.

What is a limited belief?

2. What is a limited belief?
#irishweddingchat

Sometimes in life, try as we might , we can’t make something happen. We can’t loose weight, or we can’t
reach that goal or we can’t get the job we want.

Sometimes what is happening is we have a belief within us that is getting in the way of us moving forward. Sometimes the person that is stopping us moving forward is our thinking and our beliefs. Next time you feel a little stressed, ask yourself: In this moment, what am I telling myself?

I see you use EFT in your work. What is EFT?

I see you use EFT in your work. What is EFT?
#irishweddingchat

Sara shared with a wonderful tapping round especially for brides and grooms that are stressed.

What can people do when feeling stressed?

What can people do when feeling stressed?
#irishweddingchat 
Topic: Extinguish limited beliefs

Pause, stop what you are doing, Put your hand on your heart and do a short breathing meditation ,
breathe in for 4, hold for 7, out for 8. Repeat. The earlier we catch ourselves when are stressed, the
easy it is to return to a calm place.

Be kind to yourself, look after yourself, catch when you are feeling stressed. Learn about self-compassion and then offer yourself lots of it. The world needs lots and lots of people who value and practise compassion

You run Compassionate Classes on developing self-compassion.
Why is self-compassion so important?

We all learn to be kind to other people. Many of us never learnt to extend this kindness to our self. We relate to ourselves with harsh words, put-downs and many of us are completely oblivion to how we talk
to ourselves.

We just have got so used to having that unkind voice inside, which many of u-say we need
to motivate ourselves to take action. The same as a child does not grow and thrive with criticism and put downs, neither do we. The more we can extend compassion to our self , the more we can lend compassion to others.

For anyone interested in learning more how do we get in touch?

Come along to a taster compassionate class this Friday.

You can find me on my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter. I’m always putting up things about compassion

I thoroughly enjoyed Twitter Chat with Sara…and looked forward to our Facebook Live Interview

Are you enjoying what our Guest’s are sharing? We changed the format of our Twitter Hour. Did you notice? We invite people who can help, advice and guide us on our journey. Let us know by leaving a comment on our Facebook Page, Instagram or Tweet us.

If you interested in being a Featured Business, feel free to reach out to us on any of our social media platforms or simply send us an email.

Reap the benefits of nature with Keri Denney

Reaping the benefits of nature every day using essential oils with Keri Denney

I met Keri through the Women’s Inspire Network a few years back. Keri is a Wellness Advocate and a Zumba Instructor. During our Twitter Q & A., I learnt lots about reaping the benefits of nature into your home with essential oils. Let’s dive straight into our summary of our Twitter Hour.

Q1: Tell us something of Keri Denney & your Business?

Reap the benefits of nature 
Q1: Tell us something of Keri Denney & your Business?

I’m Keri Denney and I’m here to help you kick your self-care into gear. As a Massage Therapist since 1996 and doTerra Wellness Advocate since 2017 and now a Zumba Instructor.

I blend all these things together to help you feel great in your body… today and every day.

I love to travel. I grew up in California and spent many summers in Ireland with my extended family. It was always a dream of mine to move here someday. My husband and daughter loved the idea too so we made the big leap across the pond in 2017.

Q2: What are the best ways to de-stress?

Reap the benefits of nature
Q2: What are the best ways to de-stress

Choosing an activity that you love and enjoy is most important. Forest Bathing emerged in the 1980’s in Japan as a way to get into nature and reconnect. Taking time absorbing all the benefits of nature. Fresh air, peace, clear thinking, perspective.

Q3: What can people do when they cannot get our into nature?

Reap the benefits of nature
Q3: What can people do when they cannot get out into nature?

You can bring the benefits of nature into your home with essential oils. The tree oils like black spruce, cedar wood, eucalyptus and many more. Help our bodies feel in nature even if you are at your desk breathing them in for a quick self-care moment.

Q4: Keri, if someone is interested in experiencing the benefits of Essential Oil. How can you help?

Reap the benefits of nature
Q4: Keri, if someone is interested in experiencing the benefits of Essential Oils. How can you help?

I would like to offer you a free wellness consultation for customised shopping experience for essential oils and wellness products.

I use them for everything like non-toxic cleaning, emotional and physical health, hair and skincare, nutrition as well as the work from home opportunity for financial health too.

Q5: For anyone interested in learning more how do we get in touch?

Reap the benefits of nature
Q5 How do we get in touch?

You can with a DM on Twitter or message me on Facebook or Instagram @selfcarekeri and/ or visit my website: mydoterra.com/keridenneycmt

Keri also offers a Free 30-minute wellness consultation to discuss natural solutions and answer your questions about doTerra essential oils and wellness products. And, several other options for you to learn more about essential oils. Call over to her Calendly page to schedule a call.

Earlier today, I had the pleasure of having Keri join me on our Facebook Live Interview where we got to know her a little bit better and have a little fun along the way.

watch the full interview on our Facebook Page

Finally as always if you would like to be a guest on our Twitter hour or would like to show off your wonderful gifts, services, products or venues as a featured business. Get in contact with me and let’s have a chat.

Sabrina Cadini-Holistic Life and Brain Fitness Coach

Sabrina Cadini

Love, love, loved having Sabrina on has our Guest on this week’s #irishweddingchat. She was so generous sharing her knowledge on how to keep our Brian Fit and Well.

But before we continue, let’s introduce Sabrina Cadini a Holistic Life Coach with a speciality in brain wellness, and creator of the Life-Work Balance Program for busy professionals. She blends well-being principles with neuroscience, positive psychology, biohacking, and mindfulness techniques to implement effective behaviour changes.

Brain Fitness Wellness and the Life-Work Balance - Sabrina Cadini-Holistic Life and Brain Fitness Coach

I could talk to Sabrina for hours! We connected on Twitter a few years back and for some reason, I just knew we would a lot in common. And, it turns out we do! Lots!

Did you miss the chat? Well, no worries – let’s dive straight into our re-cap.

Q 1: How does Life-Work Balance relate to our amazing brain?
Q 1: How does Life-Work Balance relate to our amazing brain?
Sabrina Cadini-Holistic Life and Brain Fitness Coach

Body and brain are tightly connected – they should be considered a system, not two separate entities. Our lifestyle choices have a huge influence on our brain’s performance and wellness.

Mindset, focus, clarity, positivity, and flow facilitate our overall success: physical, mental, professional, financial. A well-functioning brain creates more opportunities for success in each aspect of life.

It’s very important that we optimize our bodies AND our brains before anything else so that we can achieve balance and get anything we desire in life and in business

Q.2: How does stress play a role in brain wellness?
Q. 2: How does stress play a role in brain wellness?
Sabrina Cadini-Holistic Life and Brain Fitness Coach

Stress is not bad – a natural response to protect us from threats – but how we react to it can harm us. Cortisol and adrenaline get released during a stress response. Once the threat has passed, hormone levels return to normal.

When it becomes chronic, overexposure to cortisol weakens the immune system, kills brain cells in the hippocampus (reducing memory function), and stops the formation of new neurons.

Overexposure causes a continuous inflammatory response in our brain. As a result, chemicals and other toxins can enter the brain (through a weakened blood-brain barrier) and alter its delicate structure.

Chronic stress can also reduce the production of serotonin and dopamine, two very important chemical messengers. This can lead to anxiety, depression, addictions, and other mental illnesses.

Learn how to recognise the early warnings of stress before it’s too late

Warning signs of stress
Sabrina Cadini-Holistic Life and Brain Fitness Coach
Q 3: What are the best foods and fluids to nourish our brain?
What are the best foods and fluids to nourish our brain? 
Sabrina Cadini-Holistic Life and Brain Fitness Coach

Whole, nutrient-dense, organic foods rich in vitamins, minerals, phytonutrients. Stay away from refined sugar as it’s a neurotoxin. Read labels carefully since different types of sugar are hidden in many store-bought foods and drinks

Colourful vegetables & fruits (eat the rainbow), protein (grass-fed meat, wild-caught fish, pastured eggs), healthy fats (nuts, olive oil, avocados), complex carbs (non-glutinous grains, sweet potatoes, beans), herbs & spices

80-85% of the mass of the brain is comprised of water, so proper hydration is necessary. When our body loses just 1-2% of its water content, this is equivalent to a 5% decrease in cognition.

Water is best as it has multiple benefits for your overall health besides hydration: it supports electrical activity of the brain, removes metabolic waste, helps transfer oxygen and nutrients, and more

Green tea is an excellent antioxidant and anti-inflammatory beverage thanks to its polyphenols, and juicing can be an excellent way to help detoxify and support oxygenation.

Q 4: What are the best ways to optimize our brain & slow down cognitive decline?
What are the best ways to optimize our brain & slow down cognitive decline? 
Sabrina Cadini-Holistic Life and Brain Fitness Coach

Nutrition – The right foods give you fuel and energy, lower inflammation caused by toxins, and also provide the right information to your genes for vibrant health.

Sleep – Maintaining a constant sleep pattern helps you regulate hormone production, consolidate memory, and repair/grow new cells.

Movement – Stay physically active during the day to boost your immune system and detoxify your body. #IrishWeddingChat #LifeWorkBalance

Self-Care – Not a luxury. It’s necessary to rest and recharge to increase focus & positivity, boost creativity & productivity, and motivation.

Love yourself
Sabrina Cadini-Holistic Life and Brain Fitness Coach

Get my free guide on “How To Achieve Life-Work Balance” as a “thank-you” for being here on the chat with us today: https://sabcad.link/twtgift 

After our Twitter Hour, I had the pleasure of interviewing Sabrina and getting to know more about the person behind the business.

Click here to Watch the full interview

Sabrina was a fantastic guest! It was an honour for us to have her along.

Finally as always if you would like to be a guest on our Twitter hour or would like to show off your wonderful gifts, services, products or venues as a featured business. Get in contact with me and let’s have a chat.

The Love Coach

The Love Coach

The Love Coach as I like to refer Melody Chadamoyo was our guest on this week’s #irishweddingchat Twitter Hour. Having met Melody a few years back in Galway at a #WIN Event. I knew that this week we were going to be in for a treat!

Melody shared some fantastic insights with us. Like toxic behaviours and planning a wedding while under COVID-19 restriction during our Q & A. Which as always we are sharing with you in our blog this week.

Q1: What is the most challenging aspect for couples in the first 2 year's marriage?

Q1: What is the most challenging thing for couples in the first 2 year’s marriage?

In most cases, we don’t know what we’re doing when we first get married. Because no one ever tells us what is expected of us.

In my case anyway, I didn’t know how to be a wife. I just assumed that what I was doing was being super-efficient, superwoman, super independent, doing everything myself. Not needing my husband to do anything was the best way.

I also expected him to just sit there and not contribute because my opinion was more important than his and I knew better. That caused us to get into a conflict stage.

I didn’t know that marriages go through stages, the first one which we all know about which is romantic/honeymoon stage. And, then the conflict stage couples get stuck here because they don’t know how to get themselves out of that situation. And, the blissful stage. Most couples never get too because they get stuck in the conflict stage.

Knowing that we were in a conflict stage. Knowing that it was a stage and it was going to pass helped me a great deal. It helped me to have a focus because I wanted to get to the other side. To the happy blissful side.

I looked for ways for me to get there with my husband because obviously being superwoman didn’t work. Thinking that I knew everything didn’t work. And, not needing my husband to contribute in any way except financially also didn’t work.

Waking up to that and knowing that I needed to create a partnership. Where what my husband was contributing verbally, emotionally financially was appreciated. Helped me to serve my marriage and helped us to move to the blissful stage.

Q2: Please share some toxic things someone might do during lockdown that are bad for their relationship?

Q2: 3 toxic things you can do during Lockdown that is bad for your relationship?

As couples spend a lot of time together they might do toxic things that might be bad for the relationship in the long run.

The first one is:

Criticism. It is blaming the other person for everything that might be wrong. When you begin sentences like you never or you always. It always makes your spouse feel unappreciated and they would probably start feeling self-conscious or feel like they are not giving enough to the relationship.

It never helps to be that person who is always criticising someone. In terms of men, when you say “you always”. They take it like whatever effort they have been making is washed away like it didn’t matter. So when you say some of these things. It means you are not appreciating the spouse that you’ve got. 

The 2nd one is:

Contempt which is criticism powered by hostility or disgust.

This is something a lot of people do; they just eye roll or they are sarcastic or they make their spouse continuously, incessantly.

We have seen this. It seems like it’s a joke. But, if you’re the one who’s at the brunt of the joke. It stops being funny.

You start feeling like someone doesn’t care about you and they don’t really respect you.

Your spouse says something and you say, here we go again and you roll your eyes and you say all these mean things.

Even if you don’t say mean things it is perceived as mean because of how they feel. You need to be aware that they might want to get out of COVID and get out of the relationship as well.

Because nobody wants to be in a situation where they are not loved and appreciated and respected.

The 3rd issue is:

Defensiveness. It is not taking responsibility for your contribution to the interaction.

You start noticing when you’re doing it. When you stop acknowledging what others are saying. They are telling you how they feel and might even tell you what you’re doing. And, you say “Yeah but”…you had done this first. Or, like you are the only one who has feelings the other person doesn’t.

This is not good.

It’s very toxic and it can cause a lot of resentment. Once you have resentment it is a signal of the beginning of the end of your relationship. So you don’t want resentment to fester in your relationship. You’ve got to start focusing on respecting, listening and understanding the other person. Not meaning to say they are right or wrong all the time but at least see them from their point of view.

Q3; What advice do you give to a couple planning a wedding affected by social / personal distancing?

Q3. What is the best advice you can give to a couple planning a wedding that was affected by social distancing?

I think sometimes we tend to take some of these things very seriously.

I do understand it, it’s frustrating. You’re planning something and you’re going somewhere. And it doesn’t quite go ahead because the government puts limitations of how many people can attend your wedding.

You also have to remember something, everyone is in this situation.

We’re all being curtailed for reasons of health and we have to understand that. A wedding day is just a day. Yes it takes a long time to plan, yes it takes a lot of commitment and a lot of action but it’s really just a day.

It is a day to celebrate your commitment to each other. You need to be aware of that. Maintain that commitment. You have an opportunity to ensure that you operate as a team.

If you develop coping mechanisms for dealing with strife. And, problems that come in life. It is actually good for you because life will happen after you’re married. A lot of things will go wrong sometimes. They might even go wrong on the wedding day. It’s how you cope with those things that are going to determine whether you survive as a couple or you won’t. 

And not just surviving, you will thrive and be happy.

I remember one of the biggest things that happened to me with my husband. I had several miscarriages. And, then we had a baby and she died.

How we coped with that was we were always a unit.

We were always together.

We functioned as one.

We understood that my pain even though it was different from his. He was also going through pain.

That is when you start negotiating and moving through life because life happens. If you can survive struggle and strife without turning on each other. Then you’re building something with a good foundation that will survive life. Things will happen and you have to be prepared.

This might be a bad situation. But it’s also a time you can use to see whether you need to work on some things in your relationship. Or, negotiate some things in your relationship. So, that you’re ready for real-life tomorrow. 

Q4: What can people do to help their young relationship survive after COVD-19?

Q4: What can help new couples survive after Covid 19?

Focus on growing your love.

Practice kindness.

I know sometimes we don’t talk about that but love and kindness go hand in hand. When you start practising kindness intentionally, being kind to your spouse you find that your love will start to grow because that person will feel loved and appreciated.

Even when you’re feeling afraid, tense and uncertain about your future. At least, if you’re practising kindness it will help you to grow and help you to appreciate each other.

What you can do regularly is to list 3 things you’re grateful for every day for with spouse in mind.

Like…

What are the characteristics of who they are that make you feel like ooohh, I really like this person?

What attracted you to that person is something you should always appreciate.

I know after a while it starts being annoying but if you teach yourself to appreciate the person’s characteristics, their values, who they are.  You’ll find that your relationship will grow. You will thrive as a couple. And, everything will go beautifully.

Remember love always protects, and it always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres.

In perseverance. It means you’re persevering to make sure your relationship keeps growing, keeps maturing, keeps going to the next stage.

Remember, I told you there are 3 stages, they’re actually 4 but we don’t even talk about the 4th one because most people don’t get there.

You want to be that couple that gets to that stage. Do you really want to married for 56 years and be miserable? There’s no point in that.

You want to be married 56 years blissfully happy, blissfully together, growing together appreciating each other because that’s what matters.

Book Cover: why self love is the key to true love

Well, that was enjoyable!

Thank you, Melody, for sharing such fantastic advice and being so very generous with it too. Melody’s new book titled “Why Self-love is The Key to True Love” available to buy on Amazon.

And, if you are looking too Attract Love. Then check out Melody’s course. Where your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to learn how to choose the right man for you, based on becoming clear on what you personally value in a relationship partner, so that you can build the foundation for a happy and lasting relationship–in 6 weeks or less. 

I hope you enjoyed our time with the beautiful Melody Chadamoyo. We certainly did.

I’m always on the lookout for Guests for our community. Do you have something to offer? Maybe you are launching a book or course? Feel free to contact me and we’ll help you spread the word.

Operation Help our Heros

Operation Help our Heros
NOT ALL HERO’S WEAR CAPES

We had the pleasure of having Sharon Thomas of Celtic Knot Weddings and Events as our Guest for this week’s Q & A on #irishweddingchat. Where we learnt about “Operation Help our Heros” and why Sharon decided to launch this fantastic initiative.

OPERATION HELP OUR HEROS

Let’s take a moment to introduce Sharon to you:

Sharon is the Owner & Founder at Celtic Knot Weddings and Events, Co-Founder at The Wedding Festival, Creative Wedding Specialist at Glengarriff Lodge and Founder of Operation Help Our Heroes campaign. 

She is a Wedding and Event planner, and Creative stylist who specialises in Boho, Festival and Creative style Weddings. Sharon is a LGBTQ Ally who supports equal civil rights, gender equality and is a LGBTQ friendly wedding & event planner.

She dedicated her business in memory of her Uncle and Aunt who were very supportive of and are her Heroes. And, is passionate about supporting the LGBTQ community because of her uncle who came out as gay, a few years before he passed away. These were the happiest years of his life. It made her realise that life was too short so go for your dreams today not tomorrow.

Our first question to Sharon was:

What is Operation Help Our Heroes all about?

Celtic Knot Weddings & Events and well over 150 wedding suppliers from all over Ireland, including some from the UK. Have come together as a team to help our front line superheroes. Who are working tirelessly, battling the coronavirus pandemic.

Some of the most talented, kind and simply the best wedding suppliers. Have decided to join forces and offer our front line heroes discounts. On our services to help towards planning their weddings, for when this pandemic is all over and we can celebrate life again! 

Who does Operation Help Our Heroes include?

Whether you are a doctor, nurse, paramedic, carer, hospital attendant, hospital porter. A hospital cleaner, nursing home worker, medical administration staff, fire brigade, a member of An Garda Síochána, working with the HSE, or are Covid-19 test centre staff, NHS. Or, if you are a bride or groom working on the front line’s around the world and due to marry in Ireland before December 2021 you can avail of this offer.

Why have you decided to do this, Sharon?

I have decided to launch Operation Help Our Heroes for our Frontline workers, as they are doing a super, amazing job and this is something very close to my heart.

There are a number of reasons why I choose to do this. I’ve family and friends working in the healthcare sector. I also have Crohn’s disease, which means I am in and out of the hospital from time to time for tests and I have had minor surgeries.

Usually, I don’t share this private information with people but I am sharing it, as this is one of the reasons I am doing this. The care I receive from the doctors, nurses, care staff, porters etc, is absolutely amazing every time. They are incredibly kind to me, empathetic and reassuring.

My sister is one of those heroes; she is a care worker. She cares for the long-term residents in Bantry General Hospital and is helping so many people. I am so grateful and proud that she is my sister. She is working so hard along with the other superhero healthcare professionals.

She was also due to get married in Sorrento, Italy, this June. Nothing has been postponed or rescheduled as of yet but I can help my little hero sis when the time comes and pop on my wedding planner cape! It’s the least I can do to help a hero in need!

How do we get in touch to avail of these offers?

Contact Sharon at [email protected] 

Really enjoyed having Sharon on has our guest and learn more about Operation Help our Heros. I hope you did too.

Feel free to join us on our Twitter Hour every Wednesday’s from 8pm until 9pm. And, chat with our fabulous suppliers while they showcase their gifts, flowers, outfits, cars and so much more.

Would you like to be our Guest or Featured Wedding Business? Contact us for more details.

Making You and Your Business Ready to Restart!

“Making you and your business ready to restart” with Vincent Byrne, Coach

Making you and your business ready to start with Vincent Byrne Coach

We had the fabulous Vincent Byrne as our Guest this week.

I had the pleasure of working with Vincent many years ago. So, I know first hand what a great a coach he is. Vincent has a wonderfully holistic approach to business coaching. Which I think will become plainly clear when you read this blog.

Enjoy!

Q1. This shutdown has impacted everyone’s lives, businesses and incomes.
When it finally ends, what do you think it will look like?

The main thing to accept is that we don’t have a clue what things will look like when we are allowed to return from the isolation to something that approaches previous normality.

So, things will be uncertain, but then again they are always uncertain, we just operate under the illusion and the mistaken belief that things happen in a predictable way – they actually don’t.

Unpredictable stuff happens to us, for us, against us every day but if the event or occurrence is not too disruptive, we deal with it without seeing it as particularly out of the ordinary.

The point is that there is an illusion of control around our outside world but the reality is that it is not true, it is just an illusion and in fact, the only thing that we can control is our thinking and our actions.

Q 2. With that in mind, how can we be ready for an eventual return to normality?

There are two aspects to what you can do – your personal wellbeing and your business.

From a personal perspective, the only way is to focus on being mentally and physically fit to hit the ground running. That means taking action now on exercise, good nutrition, staying hydrated, sleeping well as well as mental exercises such as meditation, connecting with friends, keeping a journal and talking about your frustrations and expectations with someone who will listen for you.

If you haven’t done it already, it is important to have a structure in your day, both personally and for your business work. Ideally, set a time the evening before to plan your day, and don’t just write lists 

In terms of your work or business, you need to look at what being ready actually means for you. How do you want to be on that first day or in that first week when you are allowed back? Will you have an initial action plan? Are there important things that you need to do in those early days? A checklist might be useful.

Q 3. Okay, so if I have my checklist and return to normal plan, what else can I, should I be doing?

Are there any systems that you think need improving, better documentation, training, planning and strategising? Get started on those things now. 

It is also important to stay in touch with as many people, customers, suppliers and other connections to whom you can offer help, advice and support that might be needed right now.

So the bottom line is that there is much that can be done to be ready and it is crucial to use this time fruitfully if for no other reason than to have a sense of purpose and motivation.

Q 4. It’s extremely difficult to get motivated in this situation especially with the confinement and distractions at home, how can I start to put this advice into action?

Begin with a pen and paper and start to look at some of the issues I mentioned above. Every situation will be different, that’s why it is important to develop your own plan for your circumstances.

If you find it difficult to do on your own, try buddying up with a friend, another business owner and do sessions where you coach each other through creating your Return Checklist and you Business Improvement Plan.

Organise to have regular Zoom meetings or phone calls to help and push each other in order to make progress.

The key is not to wait, play the victim and expect others to advise you on what to do. There will be plenty of people who do just that which presents you with a perfect opportunity to get ahead and hit the ground running.

Well, I think Vincent shared some wonderful tips with us. I hope you found it helpful. If you would like Vincent to give you a helping hand connect with him on his social media and check out his website www.vincentbyrne.ie

Would you like to be our featured business or a guest? If so, please do contact me for a chat.

Working and Weddings in this brave new world.

DBphysology

In a matter of days the way we live as changed. We know that this whole turn of events has been emotionally distressing for everyone! We wanted to do our bit to help support our Community. To that end, we invited the wonderful Deborah Byrne Clinical Psychologist for a Q & A session on our Twitter Hour. Our topic Working and Weddings in this brave new world.

Deborah was really helpful and shared some fantastic tips on how to cope with our new reality.

How should people voice their concerns?

First off I can’t tell people how to run their business, but be very careful here and try and remember to separate your business from your personal life. A one-off comment could ruin your business so tread carefully. 

  • In terms of your concerns for your business, yes you are naturally going to have some very grave concerns right now. But remember you customers want solutions from you to help them, not what’s going with your business problems. This may seem harsh but it is a reality of business.
  • Make sure to ask for help and advice from professionals i.e. you accountant and solicitor if needed. 
  • Brainstorm with other business owners in a similar industry to yourself, come together to offer solutions to your clients as a collective. Make sure to utilise your support systems (networks) right now more than ever. This will help you take back control of the situation for your business in a positive manner. 
  • I talk about the 4 types of support everyone needs from a support system in my blog on building s support system. 
  • Right now more than ever people need to utilise this to its fullest. If anyone needs a free support system information and worksheet it’s on my resource page, no sign up required just click to download. https://deborahbyrnepsychologyservices.com/resources/
  • Remember you know your business best of all, but you need to make decisions based on a clear picture and you cannot do that if you are panicked, stressed or anxious.  
  • Your mind simply shuts down when you get stressed, overwhelmed and anxious. I will offer some practical ideas on how you can de-stress, calm the mind and then with advice from other professionals you can may decisions with a clearer head. 

What are you recommendations regarding keeping positive and self-isolating?

We have to get practical here and bring it back to basics so that we can take back control of our lives and businesses. 

1. You need to calm your mind. If you already do yoga, tai-chi, meditation or any other form of relaxing exercise then please continue to do this. If you don’t then use a simple 7/11 breathing technique for 3 minutes throughout the day, as needed, will help calm the mind and bring you back to centre. 

  • Remember when we get caught up in a cycle of stress and anxiety it will keep building until you do something to take back control over your thoughts. Simply breathing techniques are one of the best ways you can do this.  
  • The 7/11 technique works like this: You breathe in for a count of 7 then exhale for a count of 11. Continue to do this for 3 minutes. You can reduce this to 4/6 if you need to. The point is to breathe out for longer than you breathe in. This action will automatically get the brain to calm down. 
  • I’m not going into too much detail on why and how it works here as I feel people have too much information coming at them. Just to say it is based on helping you reduce the flight, fright, fight hormones flying around and bring the brain back to a calming centre point.

2. In order to help with the above you also have to switch off social media, the media, TV news feeds, etc. 

  • Even if you just have these playing in the background, and are not actively listening to them, your brain will pick up on them subconsciously. This will feed a negative cycle in your brain. 
  • Instead pick a time to watch or engage online with any news you know is going to be negative right now. Then try and stick to that time period. 
  • You will have to make a conscious decision to do that, so switching off your notifications will help. 
  • You are better to have some positive engagements instead, that can come from positive support within your support system (network). 
  • Creating some relaxing or uplifting music playlists and playing those in the background too. These can help you become more relaxed, focused and motivated.
  • Don’t forget to sing along or get up and dance, you need some lightness right now. Also take some time out to watch some comedy.

3. Make sure you are taking care of your self-care basics, so that includes sticking to your routine, exercise, healthy eating, and sleep. 

Take time off from your business, be with your family, connect online if unable to in person, do some hobbies/interests. A quick word about family and friends, if anyone is getting too negative then don’t feel guilty about muting, blocking, or deleting them if you are able. Not talking about kids here, just adults.  

You can also add in your meditation from above here, plus journaling and gratitude.

I know some of you won’t like to hear about the journal and gratitude work but journaling right now can be an invaluable tool for your business. I’ll outline how you can use them as such. It’s not about “dear diary” so don’t panic. 

  1. Use a journal as a brain dump. This helps you get everything out of your head, so you can relax, prioritise, delete, delegate and get a better night’s sleep. Simply start by writing everything down on a piece of paper, it doesn’t matter if it’s business or personal. Just get it all out, every worry, to do items, etc. 

I’ll talk more about how you can utilise this more in the planning suggestions coming up. 

I have a free download for braindumps and fears you can simply click to download on my resource page. https://deborahbyrnepsychologyservices.com/resources/

  1. Create a worry period if you need it. That’s a set amount of time when you give over to your worries. You set a timer on your phone for no more than 30 minutes a day. Let your mind go to all the worst-case scenarios and fears. 

But you need to write these down. When you can see your thoughts on paper you can begin to challenge them, or see you need some professional advice, i.e. accountant, solicitor, therapist (if needed). 

Most of the time when we see our worst fears written down it allows us to see we are not thinking rationally and that we can actually do something about this or make plans to help us feel more secure. 

A worry period allows us to relax also and make more calm, logical decisions during the day, as our brain no longer has to hold on to them and seek out solutions for them. 

You can use worry periods everyday if needed or just when you feel things are escalating stress wise for you. 

4. Let’s get practical about planning; it will help you feel more in control right now. 

  • Now is a great time to plan for your business. Remember you don’t need all the answers right now, just do what you can. 
  • Take some time also to do some research and development. Get your business online if you don’t already.
  • Using your brain dump sheet from above, categorise it into personal and business, just do a quick run-through, it doesn’t have to be perfect. Then review the list. 
  • Decide on what you can delete. Most entrepreneurs are very busy people and they tend to take on other responsibilities, now is the time to hand these back.
  •  You can only do so much in any one day and you need to take time out in order to help your mental and physical health. If you are stressed out you are compromising your immunity. 
  • You are not being selfish handing these things back.
  • Delegate where you can, some people might find this hard to do, but you need to. Again you can only do so much on one day. 
  • If you need to ask for help then do it! Above all you need this right now, so again utilise your entire support system.
  • You should be left with a more realist to do list. Make sure they are tasks that can be completed easily and in one go. 
  • Anything too big needs to be broken down further. If you don’t you will only feed your fears, overwhelm and stress. 
  • You are then back to a vicious cycle in your head of negativity, low motivation and depleting willpower levels. Your brain will shut down and you won’t make good decisions for you, your family and your business. 

What one piece of advice you can give us?

Remember you are doing the best you can. Running yourself into the ground won’t help you, your family or your business. 

  • Take time out for your personal life and self-care is now more important than ever. 
  • If you are really struggling please reach out and have a chat with someone, positive friends, family, support, mentors, or with a therapist if you need it. 
  • Note I said positive people; you need these more than ever and should encourage them to contact you.
  • Use the meditation I suggested above, and then get a list of customers and suppliers you need to call. 
  • Prepare key points you need to say and then make the calls. 
  • Stick to the key points, be honest, people are understanding and will appreciate your honesty. 
  • But take time between those calls to relax, you’ll handle them in a more professional manner if you do. 
  • Rushing in will not give you the best results right now. So take your time, you don’t need to call everyone in one day. 

What piece of advice would you give couples right now who have had to cancel or postpone their weddings/celebrations?

  • Weddings are highly stressful events as is for the vast majority of people. 
  • But if you can offer them solutions to their problems you will retain or gain customers here. 
  • You do need to be able to remain calm while they are going to pieces, so you need to be calm to do this. Remember the meditation, even a few breaths before answering the phone will help you. 
  • If you can come together as a group #IrishWeddingChat and offer couples solutions such as packages they can adapt, or use when this is all over, that would be helpful.
  •  If you can speak to your local hotel, other members in the group and come up with offers that are practical and helpful that would be one way to go. 
  • I’m not talking about pushing people into buying anything right now or using questionable selling practices either. 
  • Talk to the couples who are your customers already, find out what their situation is and then put together some offers together as a group. 
  • Remember these are your customers, they don’t care about how you do it, they just want the results. Again thread carefully you can’t buy your reputation or goodwill. These are intangible assets the accounts speak about; they are worth more money to your business than anything you produce. But offering some good practical solutions for couples who were getting married or who have been forced to cancel plans and have to get married alone, will build your goodwill and reputation. 

Thank you, Deborah, for being so generous with your tips and guidance. We really appreciate your time.

You learn more about Deborah on her website and purchase her super helpful e-book here.